There is nothing to read on the psych unit but a bulletin board listing the daily activities and some magazines. This makes Chihaya think about her relationship to books, which is a complex one. She muses that “it is every writer’s fear that our books will be the death of us” (p. 11) and humorously writes about how she once had a bookshelf that was so wobbly she worried it would topple over on her. However, the real damage that books inflict may be insidious. The author first began to read as an escape from her unhappy childhood, but she fears she now “love[s] books to a dangerous degree” (p. 20).  They have become her life to the extent that she does not know if she “would be anyone at all” (p.12) without them. A feature of her depression is that she has completely lost interest in reading. She half-seriously coins the diagnosis “bibliophobia” to describe her condition. It will take just the right book to cure her, and when she finds it, she begins to read again, and to heal.  

Over the course of Bibliophobia Chihaya tells us about the books that have been of vital importance to her, many of which she associates with relationships or with stages in her life. Eventually, she reads the DSM about her own psychiatric diagnosis, and she reads books that other people have written about their depression. Working with a therapist, she realizes she needs to move on, and she lets go of her academic career. By the end of Bibliophobia we learn that Chihaya has finally written a book, but it is not the one she was expecting to write. It is Bibliophobia.

Bibliophobia is an unusual hybrid of a book that is part literary criticism part memoir. The author has been influenced by numerous mental health memoirs including recent celebrated works by Donald Antrim, Esmé Weijun Wang, and George Scialabba.

The first chapter, the subsequent emotional journey of the author, and her conclusions all captured my attention. I must confess that much of the rest of this book interested me less for the simple reason that I had not read any of the books the author discusses in detail. I do not even think we have the same taste in literature. However, this may not prove to be a stumbling block to potential readers who are fans of Toni Morrison, Anne Carson or Anne of Green Gables, or who just love reading about books.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, stigma around mental health is common in Asian American communities. One praiseworthy attribute of Bibliophilia is how it calls attention to the challenges that these groups experience in accessing care. Chihaya, was raised by a Japanese father and a Japanese Canadian mother who “did not believe in the concept of mental health; everyone was either fine or just complaining” (p. 49). Growing up with the message that depression is “not for the children of immigrants [but] something that happen[s] to white people in independent films” (p. 7) it goes without saying that Chihaya cannot bring her symptoms to her parents’ attention. Filled with shame, it takes her many years until she can no longer ignore them. Fortunately, Chihaya has given us a book filled with insights that one hopes will inspire others to seek help.

Bibliophobia
Sarah Chihaya
Random House, New York, 2025, 214 pages

References:
https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/asian-american-patients
Web image from Wikicommons.

A precocious young person on a track to success, Wang experiences a manic episode at Yale that leads to her first hospitalization. After a second hospitalization, her college washes its hands of her. Hitting roadblocks time and time again requires her to rebuild her life over and over. This is not a conventional chronological autobiography but rather essays that provide different approaches to the author’s experience of mental illness. The plural “schizophrenias” of the title encompasses the whole schizophrenic spectrum of disorders. As Wang explains, her own diagnosis is “the fucked-up offspring of manic depression and schizophrenia” (p. 10).   

In an essay entitled “High-Functioning” we learn how the author, having been a fashion editor, knows how to pass for normal: “My makeup routine is minimal and consistent. I can dress and daub when psychotic and when not psychotic. I do it with zeal when manic. If I’m depressed, I skip everything but the lipstick. If I skip the lipstick, that means I haven’t even made it to the bathroom mirror” (p.44).   

Later, in “The Choice of Children,” volunteering at a camp for bipolar children makes Wang think about what it would be like to inflict her diagnosis on her own offspring. In “Reality, On-Screen” she attempts to convey the sensation of decompensating to psychosis. And in “Yale Will Not Save You” she considers the failure of universities to accommodate mentally ill students.  

This is a special and rare book. As with Elyn R. Saks in The Center Cannot Hold, Wang’s disability seems not to have robbed her of her cognitive faculties, resulting in a sense of lucidity. Yet, at the same time, we are never far from madness. As a result, the essays glisten like polished jewels while the author’s voice retains the air of authenticity.   

While Wang has understandably had ambivalent experiences, in every case where The Collected Schizophrenias might have lapsed into an anti-psychiatry rant, the author instead considers a range of perspectives. She is devoted to taking her medication, yet she open-mindedly explores alternative therapies, spirituality, and even the notion that her illness might have bestowed talents or some evolutionary advantage on her.   

We should not have to be reminded that once civilians become patients they do not lose their intelligence. Wang writes that “a primary feature of the experience of staying in a psychiatric hospital is that you will not be believed about anything” (p. 98). Indeed, when she is asked how she is doing and she replies she is doing well, she is said to be lacking in insight. At other times, she is advised by certain well-meaning people that given her diagnosis “I should be proud of how coherent I am” (p. 54), and by others “who don’t believe in mental illness… that in other cultures, a person who would be diagnosed with schizophrenia in the West might be lauded as a shaman and a healer…They are likely to be the type who boast about never taking aspirin for a headache” (p. 23).  

There are many insights to be found in this book that should prove eye-opening to mental health practitioners. It should be required reading for anyone who wants to understand the experience of having an illness.   

Publisher Graywolf Press 
Place Published Minneapolis 
Edition 2019 
Page Count 202 

Web image from Wikicommons
An earlier version of this review was published in the NYU Literature, Arts, and Medicine Database. 

Author George Scialabba ascribes his “exceptionally flimsy…shock absorbers” to his “constantly worried” parents (p.3). While studying at Harvard he becomes involved with a strict religious organization. After leaving that group he undergoes a crisis of faith and his first episode of depression. Paralyzed by self-doubt, he drops out of graduate school and begins a cycle of clerical jobs that are beneath his intellectual capability. After many years he gradually wins distinction as a freelance essayist. However, due to his incapacitating symptoms he never has a steady writing job and has difficulty attaining financial security.   

In his introduction, Scialabba tells us that “the pain of a severe clinical depression is the worst thing in the world. To escape it, I would do anything” (p.1). As attested to by the notes of his well-meaning psychiatrists and psychotherapists, he has diligently applied himself to a wide variety of treatments. Sadly, if anything he gets worse over time, and eventually requires electroconvulsive therapy.  

The task of wading through more than a hundred pages of treatment notes induces a feeling of helplessness. This gives us a taste of the author’s own experience of his illness. He often seems to get better or worse without rhyme or reason. Diagnoses come and go. At various times he has been called borderline, obsessive-compulsive, narcissistic or schizoid. He himself questions the literary quality of the notes, considering them “anti-writing” (p.7). Nevertheless, persevering through the material does yield insights for the reader.   

For one thing, the notes document changes in psychiatry over the past half century. The early note takers took their time, and their writing is thoughtful and descriptive. Later notes are comparatively terse and center on the patient’s response to medication. The author suggests that the change reflects a greater fear of litigation. The reality is multifactorial. Less attention is devoted nowadays to understanding a patient’s psychodynamics. Insurance companies pay for symptom relief and want documented results.  

Any sense of tedium the reader might feel from reading the author’s mental health records is made up for by his “tips.” Scialabba gives practical suggestions about pharmaceuticals, what to eat, and how to sleep. Sufferers of depression will be pleased to hear about these things not from a doctor, but from someone who has been through the same ordeal.  

In short, How To Be Depressed is a self-help book that is somewhat out of the ordinary, and whose flippant title belies its serious content. It provides an intellectual perspective on a devastating and common disease. 

Publisher University of Pennsylvania Press 
Place Published Philadelphia 
Edition 2020 
Page Count 146 

Web image created by Medhum.org
An earlier version of this review was published in the NYU Literature, Arts and Medicine Database. 

A MacArthur Fellow and author of several acclaimed novels, Antrim has previously published a memoir of his upbringing with his alcoholic mother. In this new memoir, flashbacks of childhood neglect and chaos are juxtaposed with the present day as he takes the reader through the acute phase of his illness: a lengthy hospitalization, a course of ECT, discharge from the hospital, rehospitalization, and eventual stabilization.  

The author considers his condition to be suicide, noting that “depression is a concavity, a sloping downward and a return. Suicide, in my experience, is not that. I believe that suicide is a natural history, a disease process, not an act or a choice, a decision or a wish…I will refer to suicide, not depression” (pp. 14-15).   

The book ends on a hopeful note. After several relationships that might be described as codependent, Antrim meets his current partner, whom he marries. He sees the roof of his building through his window and remembers a certain Friday in April but is comforted by the sound of his wife playing Chopin and Bach on the piano.  

This is an exceptionally brave book. Antrim does not attempt to whitewash his situation in any way. Surely it is humiliating for someone so successful to acknowledge he has been utterly debilitated. He loses track of time. He gains weight and cannot fit into his clothes. His new book is released, but he is in no condition to help promote it. At first, he objects to being called psychotic but eventually it comes as a relief to know he is understood. One Friday in April will be inspirational to others who have suffered to see how an accomplished person is reduced to being allowed to use his razor only under strict supervision.   

At times Antrim touches on the link between mental illness and creativity. If he had hoped the cathartic exercise of writing about his childhood would have stopped his illness he learns otherwise: “Writing had not stopped my dying. (p. 80)” At another point, his friends joke that his diagnosis “might enhance my literary reputation” (p. 115). Finally, in one of the more poignant episodes in the book, Antrim gets a call from the novelist David Foster Wallace and is encouraged to undergo ECT. He has an excellent response to that treatment, but later learns that Wallace has hanged himself.  

While a diagnosis of psychotic depression fits best with the range of symptoms the author manifests, his point about suicide as a distinct disorder is well taken. In fact, the most recent edition of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) took the major step of including Suicidal Behavior Disorder as a “condition for further study.” This corroborates the author’s experience and means that SBD might be included in a later edition. (see also https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.499980/full)   

Those who are looking for an exposé or critique of the mental health system will not find it here. Antrim credits his psychiatrists and the hospital with helping him get through an unbearable time. One Friday in April is a book that will give reassurance to people who have endured suicidal thoughts that if they persist they will get better.  

Publisher W.W. Norton & Company 
Place Published New York 
Edition 2021 
Page Count 141 

Web image from Wikicommons
An earlier version of this review was published in the NYU Literature, Arts and Medicine Database